Who Pays on the First Date? Him or Her?Saving Money
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“Who pays on the first date?”
What a wonderful question that is sure to bring out the best in us by forcing us to think critically about closely-held traditions, equality, and what it means to be a man or woman in the 21st century.
On the one hand, we have the folks who claim that men, under every conceivable circumstance, should pay on the first date.
It’s “the mark of a gentleman,” after all.
These are typically people born before 1975 hearkening back to the good old days as well as the ladies who love scoring free grub in exchange for a disingenuous offer to pitch in.
The modern dating scene is a veritable minefield of taboos and misinterpreted cues isn’t it?
Typically younger and unshackled by the cultural trappings of eras past, these pragmatic types chuck chivalry out the window and replace it with common sense and gender equality.
It’s all so confusing, right? Everybody seems to have an opinion, and how are you supposed to know what you should do if you ever have the misfortune on going on a first date in the 21st century.
So to help you out a bit we’ve compiled a list of the 30 best reasons we could think of as to why various parties should pay on the first date.
Here they are.
Table of Contents
Why Men Should Pay
1. Because it’s tradition.
2. Because it’s supposedly emasculating when a man doesn’t pay.
3. Because of the wage gap.
4. Because it costs women a fortune to get dolled up.
5. Because of the patriarchy.
6. Because you’re gay.
Why Women Should Pay
1. Because men have had to pay as long as they can remember and it’s time for reparations.
2. Because money means power, and power means choice, and women need more power.
3. Because you wouldn’t want a man to assume you owe him sex.
4. Because it’s rebellious.
5. Because he’s likely paying child support and could use a break.
6. Because you’re lesbian.
Why the Person Who Asked Should Pay
1. Because you’re pretty much never the asker and this is a nice way to get out of paying without appearing too self-serving.
2. Because the asker got to pick who they went out with.
3. Because this is more romantic than going Dutch.
4. Because the asker presumably planned the date and knew how much it was going to cost beforehand.
5. Because this is typically the protocol in other, non-romantic contexts.
6. Because you can always ask them out next time and make up for it.
Why Both People Should Pay
1. Because you both ate the food.
2. Because this is literally the first time you’ve met, and who pays for a stranger’s meal?
3. Because of equality and feminism and all that.
4. Because you’re both invested in the outcome of this date, so you should both have some skin in the game.
5. Because that way both of you can get rewards points.
6. Because if this were the rule, we can stop having this stupid debate without anybody feeling left out.
Why No One Should Pay
1. Because you get free food.
2. Because it gets the adrenaline pumping.
3. Because you guys can be the next Bonnie & Clyde.
4. Because it will make up for all the tips you’ve both paid throughout your lifetimes.
5. Because the service sucked.
6. Because you can invest the money you would’ve spent on dinner and drinks.
Let Us Know What You Think!
Alright, now that we’ve given you 30 reasons above for why different people should pay on the first date, we’d like to hear what you think!
Let us know in the comments below!
Logan is a practicing CPA and founder of Choice Tax Relief and Money Done Right. After spending nearly a decade in the corporate world helping big businesses save money, he launched his blog with the goal of helping everyday Americans earn, save, and invest more money. Learn more about Logan.